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I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "The Illuminaughty"
When you`re trying to change the channel on the tv, and the remote starts ringing, you`re probably drunk.
If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
lol I rotfl
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth`s equator, most of them would drown.
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
Man, the first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off
You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.
Marrying your high school sweetheart is like taking the banker`s first offer on Deal or No Deal.