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"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
I`m just a boy, standing in front of a girl; not listening to a f*cking thing she`s saying. But nodding, lots of nodding.
apparently telling my girlfriend her acuracy is as high as a magic 8 ball wasn`t a good idea.
Asking a guy, "Are you done with that?" & pointing to his girlfriend, is frowned upon. Apparently.
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickinβ lava on the floor!
I love all religions. They bring holidays .
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt.
ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money.
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.
How do you expect kids to listen to their parents when Tarzan lives half naked, Cinderella comes home at midnight, Pinocchio lies all the time, Alladin is the king of thieves, Batman drives at 200 mph, Sleeping Beauty is lazy, and Snow White lives with 7 guys. We shouldnβt be surprised when they misbehave, they get it from their storybooks!
So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.