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Five years ago my boss asked me where I wanted to be in five years. I finally know the answer: Not Here
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
It`s so hot I have my air condition set on bankruptcy.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I’m so glad I’m not a crazy person.
I’ve never pretended to be anything I’m not…except for sober. I’ve pretended to be sober a few times.
North Korea no!, really, go home! now you are really drunk!
My goal is to move just enough each day that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead.
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
Not so great minds also think alike.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
I’m not crazy just the voices are!
I heard recently on the radio that, "If a man looks at womens breasts for 10 mins a day he will add 5 years to his life".. Can anyone confirm this?!! If so what are we waiting for?