Daily Silly Status

I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name

If you play my day at work backwards, its about an idiot getting less and less annoying

So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??

I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."

Technically, I don`t have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I`m not doing anything.

I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.

Does Facebook have a “You’re not smart enough to be talking about politics” button?

Note to Self: In future interviews, don`t say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.

*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS

How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?

If Kutcher went to Sheen and said It`s still your show, this was all a joke and yelled "You got Punked" it would be the greatest prank ever.

I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.

I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.

I`m sure the guy standing at the urinal next to me, regrets wearing those flip flops today.