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My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night. So I said I had a headache.
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
If you think your having a bad day ... You could be digging your own grave at gun point and find buried treasure.
Breakfast in bed probably means you are dating someone. Dinner in bed means you`re probably single.
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office – I will track you down. You have my Word.
When grown-ups tell kids they have a lot of energy, they really mean that they’re being annoying little bastards.
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.
The differance between flirting and sexual harrassment ... If you`re attrative, it`s flirting.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart don’t know we are playing.
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.