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Oh no! I have to enter my date of birth to view this explicit content! Damn this internet security!
Condom commercials should just be 30 seconds of crying babies pooping and vomiting all over themselves.
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
If my body was a car, I`d trade it in for a newer model. Cause everytime I cough or sneeze, my radiator leeks and my exhaust backfires.
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.
"If Donald Duck doesn`t have to wear pants than neither do I!"- Me getting drunk at Disney World.
This debate episode has to be the craziest Celebrity Apprentice I`ve ever seen!
I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
All I want for Christmas is for these calories to not count.