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Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.
One time I asked some girl what she was thinking. By the time she finished her thought we had 2 children.
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
Threw my back out today reaching for the shampoo in the shower. But I`ll be telling everyone it`s from having sex while skydiving.
After the expiration date on poison, is it more potent or less potent?
Yes, it`s a bad time. Let me call you back when I`m not feeling so honest.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find `em.
I bet heroin addicts can open a Capri sun on the first try.
Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................
Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.