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This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
?-- that guy is cute ?
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel.
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
If at first you don`t succeed, you should have done it my way in the first place.
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
im so hungry, im farting fresh air
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go f*ck yourself.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
I have nothing to update. I`m just making it look like I`m doing something at a party so people won`t talk to me.
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.