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If you just got invited to do something on New Year`s Eve, it means someone else cancelled.
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
Go ahead caller 9!!
When I`m on my deathbed, I`m definitely going to ask if I can be moved to a different bed.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
Office thermostats only have 2 settings: hell fire and hypothermia.
I will never forget the day when she said yes to me because that was the last time we agreed on anything.
Every time I almost think humanity will be okay, I see someone struggle with the self-checkout for 20 minutes.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.
I just want to alternate between napping and eating all day everyday while getting attention, so basically I just wish I were a dog.
Bad decisions make good stories.
Friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake
You ever notice “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle.