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7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
My neighbor thinks I`m crazy and that I`ve been stalking her. well at least that`s what her diary says.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
I don`t see the point of sex if the neighbours don`t hear it.
Went down the gym and burnt 1200 calories today. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven!
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
Dear Dr Phil, I was watching my next door neighbor`s wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was enjoying myself I turned to notice my lady was just standing there, arms folded...watching me. Is she a pervert?
You are right when you realize you were wrong.
Why do single people take advice from other single people? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions