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I end a sentence with "just sayin" because ending it with "dumbass" would be offensive.
Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.
Whenever someone invites me to their home and I see more than 3 cars parked outside, I keep driving just in case it`s an intervention.
Just because leggings stretch dont mean yo 465 pound a$$ should be in them!
Women have all the answers, to all of your questions, and you don`t even have to ask.
Why doesn’t a deli slicer just have a scale on it?
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
You know you`re poor when you sneak into Sam`s Club with some random family just to eat samples for lunch. Yay... Christmas
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
It`s pretty neat how owning a pool gives me an excuse to own every chemical needed to make a body completely disappear.
The toughest decision I will make today is bottle or draft.
All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.