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Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
There’s no excuse for my behavior, so I’m drinking until I have one.
i spend 800% off my life exaggerating
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
The key to successful relationships is not to start any.
Girls probably spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
When one door opens & another one closes, your fricking house is HAUNTED!
A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours.
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
Got tossed outta Starbucks this morning for asking the really cute redhead behind the counter for a "Quickie". Apparently it`s pronounced "Quiche`" who knew......
Don`t expect me not to hopscotch all over your house if you have fancy tiles.
Nothing says IDGAF like an old lady at a slot machine wearing oxygen and smoking a cigarette.