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I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground, so I threw my fries on the ground too.
Look UPS guy, you can`t just show up at someone`s house unannounced and expect them to have pants on.
I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I`m roofing.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is talking back right now.
I didn’t give you the finger. You earned it.
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
It`s a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
My doctor is getting really tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.
The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.
Be the type of gentleman that holds the door open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.
No Grandma, "sausage fest" is not a new special breakfast at IHOP