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One quality I`m not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm. #FarmVille
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
If she can cook like her mother and drink like her father, she`s a keeper.
*breaking news music plays* Last thought of the night: Why is now everyone talkin` bout "twerkin`"? Man, that shyt been `round since the days of Hammer pants and spandex shorts!!!!
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you`ve gone Commando a few times in your life.
When ur mom Calls and u have a party at ur house you; shut up!! Answers phone you; hi mommy!
If I ever go missing and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms.
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
When parents on Facebook post about how they can`t believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he`d be held back!"
Next time you`re down in the dumps...pick me up a spare tire!
Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying "the economy" a lot.