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I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
If I pat you on the back, there`s a 99% chance that I`m only using you as a napkin
They say women only use 10% of their anger
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
WTF, I feel like I pay these bills every month.
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.
When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
Buy all your socks in one color - problem of the missing sock solved!
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.