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So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
Apparently there`s enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot.
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things.
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
Don`t put off until tomorrow what you can avoid the rest of your life.
I think eating is my kind of sport.
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That`s where I come in.
If you eat doughnuts fast enough your Fitbit thinks you`re walking.
The reason grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup are such a great combination is because they are the same basic ingredients as pizza.
According to new research, too much sex can cause memory loss. Finally, something that explains my ultra detailed photographic memory.
Struggling to get your wife`s attention?.....just sit down and look comfortable.
Money isn`t the key to happiness ... Wait a minute, I`ll just pay to have a key made.
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF