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Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
"Try to score a goal. Don`t use your hands. See you afterwards." - Soccer coaches
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
“I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others”- The phrase that started Facebook.
I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend.
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running.
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
Being single is the worst sh!t ever. Being in a relationship is a close second.
You know that button in the elevator with the fireman´s hat on it... turns out that is not the button you press to get a fireman´s hat.
I`m ABSOLUTELY positive I`d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.
What`s with this `running with scissors` bullsh!t? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?