Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
Some people need to calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’. You probably saw our posters on poles.
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the sh!t out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
I didn`t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Guys are excellent cooks. With two eggs, a sausage, & a little bit of milk...they can keep a girl`s stomach full for 9 months.
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
I`m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That`s like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!
Best part of living alone...clothing optional ;)
I eat my corn on the cob like an old-school typewriter. This is how the 80`s cartoons taught me to do it as a kid.