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The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always like to write: "Last warning, you have a week to get the rest of the money together."
Whoever invented the 5 day work week and 2 day weekend can suck my a**!
The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
Sorry, just got your text. Are we still on for last night?
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
Life hack: If you keep your mouth shut, no one will know you`re so stupid
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
hilarious
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.