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Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
Saying an actors performance was unbelievable is actually an insult.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
I go both ways. I like hard AND soft tacos.
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
You can`t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
Cars should come with two horns: one that’s like “Hey guys!” & another that’s like “I will end you!”
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
Sorry I missed your call. I was peeing and had both hands full.
I don’t need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes.
"..all the king`s horses & all the king`s men couldn`t get Humpty together again" ... What guy thought horses might figure it out?
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets