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I noticed you stopped taking your meds. Can I have them?
I am pretty sure dry cleaning is a scam where they just laugh and rub money on your clothes then hang them back up in a plastic bag.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
I know I`m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
As funny as it might be, It`s never polite to yell "Tuba Lesson!" Before farting.
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
I can`t stand people who use song lyrics in their status` because they remind me of sombody that I used to know
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
Do you think we like to sing in the shower because we all love a good soap opera?
I ordered a pizza when my wife went into labor. Thad ad said, "buy a pizza, and get free delivery.
I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.