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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
I`m pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me suffer, while rolling her eyes and painting her nails.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
My doctor says each piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off your life... If my math is right, I should`ve died in 1781...
Guys, how many times have you said "it looks great honey" when you really are just laughing inside?
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress so that I’ll have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
Sometimes, I send game request just to piss people off :)
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
It’s not the holiday season unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.
No matter how compelling and convincing the other person’s argument is, you can always win a debate by adding “yeah, but still” at the end.