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I did responsible things all day so tonight will consist of nothing that even resembles responsibility.
My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin.. I don’t even know what that means but now I’m hungry.
Traffic jams are more tolerable if you just think of them as really boring parades.
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
Reasons to get out of bed: None.
there`s only 2 things in life you have control in changing that is your attitude and a kids diaper.. which at times both can be the equivalent of the other..
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
It`s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
A group of toddlers is called a migraine
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
My daughter said, "You`re the best mommy ever!" I`m really proud that she`s learning sarcasm at such a young age.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
When parents on Facebook post about how they can`t believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he`d be held back!"
Kids maybe a gift..... But I like playing with the box it came in.