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I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.
One man`s sarcastic answer, is another man`s stupid question
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
It took Harry Potter 7 damn long books to catch the bad guy. When it only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes.
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
You only live once is the most reassuring thing I`ve ever heard.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn`t for throwing at people who stress you out?
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.