Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
*Me washing my car* Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car? Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.
I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-a$$ing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ”K” instead of ”OK”?
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
What a lovely winter we`re having this spring.
Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasn’t talking about sneezing.
i just peed so hard that I laughed a little bit
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one`s gonna mistake a different turtle for you.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.