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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
My neck, my back. My pizza and my snacks.
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
My doctor said I need to drink more water every day, so I have started putting ice cubes in my vodka.