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It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
This bartender doesn`t know it yet, but she is probably going to make me 36 hours late for work tomorrow.
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
Tire rotation? Nice try, mechanic! I rotated my tires like a thousand times on the drive over here.
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
Have you ever noticed that the & symbol looks like a guy dragging his butt across the floor?
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say “Oh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!”
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.