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There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life`s face to find she has deflated in the night.
The high cost of livin ain`t nothin like the cost of livin high
Receptionist: "The doctor will see you now." Invisible Man: "Finally, a cure!"
Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
How many Oreos is too many?...Is it 25?...I feel like it should be more than 25
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
Your pants say yoga but your a$$ says McDonalds!!
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.