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The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
Feeling bored? Go to a clothing store and put "one size fits all" stickers on the bras.
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
Iām over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
When something goes wrong in your life, just yell "PLOT TWIST!" and move on.
A group of toddlers is called a migraine
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I`ll have to let her in.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but Iād like to think a beer is the way to go.
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.
I wish they all could be Jerry Springer girls.
I love Costco. You don`t go there thinking you`re gonna buy a 12-pack of watermelons but you`ll probably leave with one.
Yeah, I was gonna do that, but summer.
I bet the Fantastic 4 were just pretending to have a girl in the group. "Uh yeah she`s just invisible right now. She`s totally real though."