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Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching. -Bfanch
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
Judge me if you will, just keep the verdict to yourself.
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
You`re never too old to learn stupid sh!t
I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
Walmartians: Nothing says `FML` like these curious abominations of the shopping world.
I`m switching to Metric. I would weigh a lot less on the Metric scale.
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
I farted in the apple store and everyone got pissed, not my fault they dont have windows ...
have you ever looked at someone and thought, "yeah you definitely have someone locked away in your basement."
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.