Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Look at the keyboard. It has `U` and `I` together. Look underneath that. It says `JK`.
I don’t have bumper stickers because I don’t believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
It`s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
I hate Cheetos stains on my peignoir.........
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
Loneliness is when your sleeve unrolls itself while washing dishes and you try to roll it back up with your face.
Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
I don`t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
My boyfriend isn`t allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.
The only difference between McDonald`s and my work is McDonald`s has only got one clown running the show.