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Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
If your roommate never walked in on you naked, you`re not naked near enough.
And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
Research shows that, when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" ... He in fact did.
Kicking a man while he’s down burns 150 calories.
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger.
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
Got tasered at speed dating again.
For lent I`m giving up sex, wait I`m not Catholic. Whoa, that was close
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.