Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Actually baby, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
Baby gates are parents` way of saying "this area is locked until you’ve gained more experience."
The worst part about being alone is I don`t have anyone to get me a beer from the fridge.
Girls who don`t get naked when you`re drunk.. Explain yourselves.
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
The first thing I do when I get a telemarketer call is say "Let`s go off script. What are you wearing?"
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
There is nothing more terrifying than sneezing while driving.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
Show some cleavage on bad hair days.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.