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Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
I plan on getting "sidewalk nap" drunk tonight.
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
It`s like my kids don`t even believe how cool I was in the 80s.
What if in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar…and the actor who played him got an Oscar.
So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.
Make a random stranger`s day by walking up to them and saying "This isn`t real. You have to wake up"
Just changed my wireless network name in my apartment to "I can hear you having sex through the ceiling and it sounds mediocre."
When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
The new Jungle Book movie might be confusing to today`s kids who don`t remember when we had jungles. Or books...
I need more people like me in my life
Whenever a stranger asks our baby’s name, I always say he hasn’t told us yet.
I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
Half of my life has been spent hoping people don’t see me.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned