Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when there`s not a single awkward moment
When I was little we didn`t have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like a bunch of savages.
Don’t text and drive. You don’t want “lol” to be the last thing you say before you die.
I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is.
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucks today, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
Did you know that one minute of kissing burns 26 calories? No wonder those sluts are so damn skinny.
Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would`ve been if he`d eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.
Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume…
Getting back with your ex is pretty much the same as taking a shower, getting out, and putting back on the same old dirty underwear.
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.