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I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
Turns out people who say they love hot sauce on anything are liars. In other news, I`ve recently been banned from making the classroom coffee.
A dozen roses: $12, a box of chocolates: $10, a Happy Valentines Day card: $2, still having $24 dollars because you`re single: priceless!
We have so much in common. You want to travel and I want you to go.
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
I used to think i was good at multi-tasking. Turns out its just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
Every day is St. Patrick`s Day when you`re a drunk who likes to pinch people.
My blood hound was just attacked by a Crip hound.
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets