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My neck, my back. My pizza and my snacks.
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
If you want to preview of the new iPhone 8 and try it out for free before buying it just look at your iPhone 7 and pretend it cost several hundred dollars more.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
If there wasn’t such thing as a last minute I’d never get anything done.
I think you people lied to me...exactly how much of this hair of the dog do I have to eat before this hangover goes away?
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
What if Oxygen makes our voice really deep…. And Helium just brings it back to normal?
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
This may be the wine talking but help he’s drinking me, he’s drinking me.
I don`t mean to brag... but I`m a pretty damn good peek-a-boo opponent
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you were able to steal 12 of his hoodies.