Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
I wish common sense was more common.
Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea.
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
I’m not stealing my neighbor’s WiFi…their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
How funny is it when you’re telling somebody a made-up story and someone says β€œOh yeah I heard about that”?
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
I think I speak for everyone when I say we hate being spoken for.
If I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable.
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
When I was a kid β€œThe Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.