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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
I wish common sense was more common.
Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea.
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
Iβve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
Iβm not stealing my neighborβs WiFiβ¦their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
How funny is it when youβre telling somebody a made-up story and someone says βOh yeah I heard about thatβ?
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
I think I speak for everyone when I say we hate being spoken for.
If I ever get off this couch, Iβll be unstoppable.
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
When I was a kid βThe Server Is Downβ meant your waiter was depressed.
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.