Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ...I sent it anyways.
In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
Balloons think they’re so cool. I tried to tell one he was leaking and he just said, “Pfft.”
Why periods? Why can`t Mother Nature just text me and be like, "Whaddup Girl?, You ain`t pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to ya next month."
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
Remeber that time we came to work and we were excited? Me neither.
Jehovah`s witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
New favorite term: Multislacking. It’s nice to find a name for something you’re good at.
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?
I’m actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me.