Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"My phone`s about to die." -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call
I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
Your eyes are so beautiful. If you look deep enough i can see my own reflection...
I bet the hardest part of working the poison control hotline is not finishing your sentences with "...you ignorant dumbass"
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
If my sarcasm confuses you it`s because you`re stupid.
Coaster? You`re assuming I plan to put my drink down...
Some of the best decisions I`ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
Got a new Juicer. Going to Juice all these delicious organic vegetables I got ... then add Vodka ... Don`t judge...
I`ve honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.
Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting.