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Alway be nice to anyone that has full access to your toothbrush.
Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet. It reminds me of why there is no money in there.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle
There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars.
Someday, I`ll live in my OWN basement!
Currently helping my son look for his chocolate that I ate last night.
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
It`s my birthday. Iām not just a year older, Iām also a year better and prettier ... I know your jealous ;)
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
I`m not saying my ex wasn`t pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture.
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
If you play my workday backwards, it`s actually a nice story about idiots getting less and less annoying.