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I don`t ever know where I`m at till I`m there
Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
Put that down you fat piece of sh!t` - the title of the dieting book I`m writing.
If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
I asked my kid “do you know why we have a Thanksgiving holiday?” He said, “Sure! It’s so we know when to start Christmas shopping!”
No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
The best thing about telepathy is... I know, right!?
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
It`s like my bank account doesn`t understand me at all.
Remember the good ole days when we had to get out of bed to use the Internet.
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
That urge you get to write "No one gives a sh!t" on someone`s status..
No. My hair magically got shorter.
If i had a dollar for everytime i was thinking about you, i would start thinking about you.