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You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
If you’re gonna flip out on your Facebook, don’t delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
Bad Morning: As I sit on the throne remembering I used all the toilet paper last night for Halloween pranks.
If there’s one piece of advice I can give you it’s to marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they wont eat all of yours.
I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
Married people always ask when you’re getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery.
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
If I learned anything from my children, it`s that it is always OK to do something stupid, as long as someone DARED you to do it.
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
In the 60`s we took LSD to make the world look wierd. Now the world is weird and we take Prozac to make it look normal.
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
You can lead a horse to water but I`d rather ride it to the liquor store.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.