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I put the o in illiterate!
Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
Don`t ask me for advice, my answer is always get them drunk.
What I do when I black out is none of my business.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)
For parents of small children, weekends are about as relaxing as showering with cats.
I’m mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
Anyone want to be fake engaged for two hours so we can eat cake samples?
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
I live in fear that my death will somehow be connected to the opening of a pressurized Pillsbury cinnamon roll container.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
That awkward moment when your trapped in the corner of your shower because the hot water ran out.
Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don`t understand how weather works.