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The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
Types of like on facebook: 1.Stalker like. 2.Crush like. 3.I wanna bang you like. 4.Agree like 5.Pity like.
Lady`s if you want guys to look at your face instead of your chest ... eat a banana.
I hate that they put "use by" dates on condoms... like I`m not under enough pressure trying to get laid already.
Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-
I was all depressed last night, so I called "Lifeline". Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck
Woke up to gun shots this morning. Luckily my wife has horrible aim.
Facebook should just change it`s name to "People You May Want to Avoid."
I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it?
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you don’t get her a size S with a gift receipt, you’re an a$$hole.
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
The best thing about the internet is knowledge. You have all this knowledge at your fingertips! And we get to share what we learn with others! Oh...wait a second. I forgot about porn. OK I take it back. PORN is the best thing about the internet!
I farted in the apple store and everyone got pissed, not my fault they dont have windows ...
Burglars must love "My Family Stickers". They can wait in front of someone`s house, count the people that leave, and know if they have a dog or not...