Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
Screw Folgers, the best part of waking up is knowing I survived last night`s drinking.
I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone`s house on fire. Either way, I`m prepared.
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
Forget beauty sleep. I want skinny sleep.
You say stalker. I say unpaid private investigator.
Remember ladies, if on your 10th selfie you don’t have the perfect one to post you’re really just ugly.
No great story started with someone drinking water.
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
Ten out of ten pigs prefer turkey bacon over regular bacon.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: The one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor.