Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.
I don’t like being told what to do unless I’m naked.
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
I took out an ad for a girlfriend recently and 10 guys tried to give me theirs.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.
To the makers of rice cakes; thanks for nothing!
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
99 Days Facebook Free? Big deal! In 1999 I went a whole year without Facebook.
"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.