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The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.
So you think you can study with your facebook activated? That`s cute! ^.^
Currently in the planning stages for a hangover.
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
Grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and a big-a$$ed pitcher of margaritas as “Plan B”
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
Do you ever start writing a status and half way through you’re just like… nah
The moment when someone says a word and everyone laughs, including you and then someone goes, "Do you know what that means?" and you go "No, not really."
I like how the package for cotton swabs says don`t put them in your ears and everyone in the world is thinking: "WTF else would I do with them?!"
If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.