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You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
If you don`t put your leftovers in Tupperware for like at least two weeks before throwing it in the trash... you`re doing it wrong.
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
Call me a hoarder if you want but don`t come crying to me when you need a 3 foot tall stack of mayonnaise jar labels.
Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
"My name will live forever!" - Anonymous.
If my body is EVER found dead on a designated jogging trail.. Just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.. :|
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
I woke up feeling strange this morning...I felt Rested and Relaxed so I immediately Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a `Sleep in` Apparently it`s not harmful but may be addictive. . .
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.
Inspirational status: Todayβs probably going to suck. Donβt be a little bitch and handle that sh!t.