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A recent survey revealed that 4 out of 5 women think I`m an a-hole...
I`ve ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child.
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes, or until you check their browser history.
You can steal my status updates whenever you want, but just remember that I lick every single one before I post them...
You`d think the nerds on The Big Bang could fix that stupid elevator.
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
Iām too young to be too old for everything.
I`m having trouble telling if it`s killing me or making me stronger
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
Siblings ā the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
I like to say my kid handles funds for a multi-billion dollar corporation. It`s easier than saying he is a cashier at McDonald`s