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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
If you`ve never played Tetris, you`re probably useless at loading a dishwasher
Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
Step 1: Remove food from packaging. Step 2: Throw out packaging Step. 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time, Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
My wife sure is picky for someone who married me.
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
my entire life is a "had to be there" moment
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
They say money can’t buy happiness… but it can buy bacon, and that is pretty darn close.
You know you had an interesting day when your Google search history includes "rubber panda".
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.