Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.
That person who waits to the last minute to change lanes and expects you to make room. NOT ON MY WATCH!
I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...
I`m starting to think mosquitoes just land on our faces not to suck blood but to see how stupid we look when we slap ourselves.
I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
Coaster? You`re assuming I plan to put my drink down...
I`m not everyone`s cup of tea ... I`d rather be someone`s shot of tequila away.
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it.
It`s bigger on the inside..said no woman, ever!
Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
So far I’ve spent most of 2014 flipping off the weather channel.
Moral compass? Is there an app for that?
You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that sh!t.