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Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly...."You can see me???"
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
It`s a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
Always thought the 4 words I never wanted to hear from my wife was "I want a divorce". Turns out its actually, "What is your password".
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
I hate sneezing during sex, as it alerts the neighbours and lets them know I`m watching.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
Things I`m confused by: how did Rub a Dub Dub, Three Men in a Tub become a nursery rhyme?
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.