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How come know-it-alls, don`t know how annoying they are?
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
Saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons last night. ..Must be going through a tough period in her life.
Dating a woman in 5 easy steps: 1. Be attentive 2. Don`t be too attentive 3. Show interest 4. Don`t show too much interest 5. Seek therapy
WTF, marathoners? I don’t even like to drive 26 miles.
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
If you can’t love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon ....I think I`m gonna be pretty good at it.
It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, "try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal."
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...