Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
Don`t rush me, I`m waiting until the last minute.
If anyone tells you that you drink to much on the weekends. Stop talking to them...you don`t need that kind of negativity in your life
FYI fellas: if you wake up with some chick and you can`t remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They`ll write her name on the cup for ya!!!
Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning.
The next time you feel you’re worthless…. just remember…. your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
One square left on the toilet roll and no extras in the cupboard. Well played, honey. Well played.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.
If you weren`t supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn`t package them in rows of 15.