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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
You know you`re up really late at night when you turn on ESPN and 2 white guys are boxing!
Relax, we`re all crazy. It`s not a competition.
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider`s web.
The bed is always the comfiest right at the time you are supposed to be getting out of it
Just printed out 50 copies of today`s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I`m just not in the mood for small talk.
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.
The opposite of "tying the knot" is "no strings attached"