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I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
I want the job where you push scared skydivers off the plane.
3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.
I carry a knife, but it’s just in case of cake.
There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... that’s a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You`re welcome!!! ;)
One thing I think the world can agree upon… Any day when you can stay in pajamas the whole time is a good day.
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
Don`t let this historic Cubs World Series win distract you from the fact that Donkey never made Shrek those waffles he promised to make.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
I wonder what the inventor of the drawing board said when his first design didn’t work out.
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.