Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When your girlfriend or wife says "lol have fun", do not have fun. Abort mission. I repeat. Abort mission.
I usually don`t argue with the doctor but I don`t think "Batshit Crazy" is a legitimate medical term.
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
I enjoy long walks away from responsibility.
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
LOL` the biggest lie on the internet.
How much time has to pass before grave robbing is considered archaeology?
I get a lot of “You must work out!!!” I just wish it wasn’t from doctors. :(
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
I`m not saying you`re stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
I don`t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
Dear single guys; open a pet shop selling cats. Let the single ladies come to you.