Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
Dear Santa: My sister is the "naughty" one ... trust me.
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
My sister says god`s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers, so I bought her a vibrator because she`s obviously never had an orgasm.
Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
When you send food back to the kitchen, you`re basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
i just opened a fortune cookie and it started with the word unfortuneatly
A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.