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Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
It`s like my bank account doesn`t understand me at all.
My ex girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to dress up as herself and then act like a f*cking b!tch all the time.
I’m eating just in case I get hungry later
I`m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
If my body is EVER found dead on a designated jogging trail.. Just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.. :|
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn.....it`s dead yarn now, though.
Just spent a week building a time machine. That’s seven days of my life I’m going to get back.