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I don`t care about your status...
Balloons think they’re so cool. I tried to tell one he was leaking and he just said, “Pfft.”
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
I finally found a machine at the gym I like: the vending machine!
they say winning doesnt matter then why they had kept scores
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
This chick I met last week says she wants a guy who is `funny and spontaneous`, yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it`s all pantic and screaming.
I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child.
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.