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I can totally relate to cranky elderly people. I mean you can only be nice for so long!
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
If history has taught us anything, it’s that reheated french fries are gross.
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
People says nothing is imposible.. But i do nothing everyday!!
If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn`t, you should know that I ignored you first.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.