Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
Give a fish something for once for f*cks sake
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
My little brother just told me I looked stoned as hell. Which is a little weird, considering I don`t have a little brother...
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
I look so young for my rage.
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
The only way I know if I`ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger
Some days I feel about as useful as the pants in Donald Duck`s closet.
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.
wishes that more people would declare thumb wars these days. I`m sure that all this texting has prepared my thumb muscles for battle.