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Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
I hate when I get to work and I`m at work.
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
After watching copious amounts of crime dramas I`ve come to the conclusion that serial killers only target women who wear matching bra and pantie sets. Feeling much safer now.
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
2 out of 3 isn`t bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids.
I need a new refrigerator ... There`s no food in mine.
Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
-buys lottery ticket -fantasizes about winning the lottery -smiles -loses lottery -resumes general hatred for life
My daughter said, "You`re the best mommy ever!" I`m really proud that she`s learning sarcasm at such a young age.
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling