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It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
Women can brutally and methodically destroy your life. But they let you see their tits along the way so it`s totally cool.
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
My relationship with whiskey has been on the rocks lately
If she owns more than 4 pairs of yoga pants, expect A LOT of text messages
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
Never underestimate a woman`s ability to make you feel responsible and guilty for her mistakes.
The naked truth, is always better than someone’s best dressed lie.
The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often