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What do you call a guy who makes "Woman in the Kitchen" jokes? Single.
Why do restaurants always say "Shirt and Shoes Required" but never say anything about pants?
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
I`m not lazy. I`m just highly motivated to not do anything.
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
I don`t blame Monday. I blame Saturday for not matching my Powerball numbers
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
Its so hot I used my blow dryer as a cooling fan!
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.
Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s can shorten it
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.