Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
My TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It’s that easy.
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
Inspirational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they`re the problem is the other half.
I’m not shy, I’m just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
If a lesbian c*ckblocks another lesbian, is that considered a beaver dam?
The last time I went to a nude beach I got a ticket. The officer said I was applying my sunscreen...Too Fast.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !
Remember....... Its not drinking alone if you`re on Facebook ;)