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If you`re going to be a d!ck.. At least be a big one.
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
It`s crazy that your brain can calculate where to put your hand to catch a 98 mph fastball... But won`t keep your mouth shut when a woman is angry
So far I`m 0 for 276 for walking around the block in hopes of finding a bag of money on the side of the road.
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in digust, but deep down inside they want some.
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy ... I love to eat capitalization.
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.
I am going to open "The Karma Cafe" There will be no menus though. You will get what you deserve!
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
The biggest lie I tell myself is: “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
I know I am an acquired taste. If you don`t like me, you need to acquire some taste. Or go f*ck yourself. Whichever.