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I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Never confuse the words "venom" and "poison". Venom is injected into blood by an animal. Poison is injected into food by a woman.
Some people have a natural talent for stupid. Others take that talent and actually ENHANCE it!
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
If you want to get me to do something, bribery does work.
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
Never tell a lie ... unless it is absolutely convenient
Do you realize that a woman`s "I`ll be ready in five minutes." and a guy`s " I`ll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?