Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan.
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
GF: "You`re cute when you`re drunk" Me: "You`re cute when I`m drunk too"
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
There`s 3 ways to get something done: 1. Do it yourself, 2. Hire someone or 3. Forbid your kids to do it.
I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it?
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
“I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.