Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
People tend to get angry when you treat them the same way they treat you.
It`s weird how in England the passenger drives the car
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
When someone says I love you over the phone and you don`t feel the same, just say `I love youtube` but say it really fast!
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
"Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
Most of life is waiting for whatever you`re at to be over.
What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.