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There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
you know that awkward moment when you think someone`s talking to you so you reply to them and then they look over at you with that disgusted facial expression that says "wtf ..no"
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
Most days the best thing about my job is that my chair spins
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I`m behind you 100%
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
Don`t talk about yourself so much... we`ll do that when you leave.
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"
Of all the advice given to me over the years, “There really is no bad time for a beer” has proved to be the most helpful.